ok, I have something I've decided to get off my chest. It's a secret, but its the truth.

I'm a mass murderer. Some of you already know this, but others, I suspect, have been my friends for months (even years) without knowing my deep dark secret. So its time for me to tell you.

It all began in 5th Grade in Mrs. D'Agostino's class, we had to write papers about outer space--so I decided to write about Planet X. I went into great detail on one of the pages about how Clyde Tombaugh was the only living man to have discovered a planet. It was a really great essay, and I finished it on Saturday January 17, 1997 and handed it on Monday. I was really proud of it--who writes about Planet X?

Some of you may know that Mrs. D'Agostino was insane, and a horrible person. She gave me an F on that essay because I had "false information" int he paper and she stapled the obituary of Clyde Tombaugh to the front page.

I didn't MEAN to kill him!!

In 7th grade I did a project on Donna Shirley (aka Donna SSSSSSS) and her work on the Mars Exploration Program. Two months later I found out she left her job around the exact time my project was due. I was crushed.

In 9th grade I wanted to be a backup band guitarist when I grew up (aka for the Backstreet Boys) and so I did my project on that for Home & Careers. We went to a BSB concert a month later and my favorite members of the BSB Band had ALL QUIT/been fired. It was HORRIBLE! [Including the Peanut Guy]

In 11th grade I got my papers for NHS signed by: Steve Hilbert, my fencing master (who died a month later); Mr. Newcomb (who no longer works at KenWest); Mr. Herb (same); and Ms. Widman (who became a mentor at the end of the year).

There's more proof too, but I think this already has enough information for you all to hate me.

Oh, and I bet you all want to say "don't write a paper on me!". Yeah, I get that a lot.